AMERICAN IDOL..SEASON 7.....EPISODE 2 RECAP...DALLAS AUDTIONS

So....last night...Idol Auditions were held in Dallas, TX...I found them to be thoroughly enjoyable...I believe we have a couple of really strong Idol hopefuls that were found there on last nights show...and a couple of charity cases......but, American Idol has said to be transformed this year, into a kinder, gentler American Idol...thus far, Simon has doled out hugs, Randy and Paula are dancing and singing along with the contestants....and it has showed us, as of last night...you don't have to have a perfect singing voice to make it through to Hollywood...just tell them you used to be a meth head, almost died in a car crash, and drive a tractor....and you automatically receive a golden ticket! Yowza....

Anyway...let's do this...here's last nights Recap....

Well...the show started off, with a contestant having to be taken away in an ambulance....to HAVE HER BABY!!!!......I think if I knew I was in labor, having contractions, I wouldn't risk putting my baby in danger, to sing for American Idol..but, oh well...to each her own, I guess.

First contestant...Jessica Brown...


She's a purdy little thing..but she is also a recovering meth addict and mom of two..just trying to get her life back on track...Good for her! She sings "I'll Stand by You, By The Pretenders...and she does very well.....a country singer with good potential, I think....possibly another Carrie Underwood??? Without the squeaky clean image.....She has a nice, alto voice(low)...Simon seemed to like her, Randy thought she was a little pitchy, but...she was the first Golden Ticket...she's going to Hollywood!

Following Jessica...we have Park Attendant....Paul Stafford...

Poor Paul.....he failed miserably..He was terrible....very nervous...but, also very enthusiastic....he attempts to sing Elliot Yamin's Baby I Will Wait For You...he said he has never sang that in public before, but his family told him, he was good, he should do it....um...he might want to refrain from listening to them....and um, never sing in public again....although, he was a nice guy...all the judges told him so...Awwww....Paula loved his "joyfulness".....What???

Now.....after Paul...you would think...surely the next chick will be good....Beth Maddocks is up next..



She is a singing waitress at a fondue restaurant...um...don't think I want to ever go to her restaurant when she is working...she was terrible....She sang "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson...Imagine that...but the 2nd word of the song was fitting...because it was a disaster.....sad thing is....she actually thought she was good.

Following her...there is a succession of more horrible singers...none noteworthy enough to mention....although there was one named Druciula....she sang like her name...EeeWWWWwwww!!!!!

Then....finally...we have a winner....another Golden Ticket is handed out to...
Alaina Whitaker....


She is a Carrie Underwood look-a-like...who likes to think that Carrie Underwood looks like her....She sings "Stronger" by Faith Hill....she is pretty good, not as country as I thought she was going to sound....Simon liked her, but told her he didn't think she was as good as she thinks she is...which, she replies by saying "shoot"...too funny....She gave me chills....I see her going all the way to the top 12...

Then...we have the duet siblings...Gregory and Miley Tobias....



That was, I do believe, the worst duet I have ever heard...the judges are silent..they just kind of walk off stage and out the door...they knew they were terrible....why did they even bother???




Then we have, not so normal, non-hormonal, 19 year old...Bruce Dickson....


Dude is 19 years old, never kissed a girl...never even went to first base....the relationship he has with his dad is kind of creepy, to me....his dad gave him a necklace to wear around his neck, it's a key...and his father wears a heart necklace around his neck, that the key fits into...when he finds the one girl in the world that he is meant to marry, then their wedding kiss will be his first ever kiss and he will give her the heart necklace his dad wears and "then he will have the key to her heart"....(puke, gag, retch)...oh, my god...I don't know if he is just sickenly pure, virginal and sweet or can you say, closet homosexual...dude, just go ahead and come out....nothing wrong with being gay...I don't know if he is truly being honest with his weirdo dad or not...but, dang....
Anyway...He sang "Ain't No Sunshine"....the judges felt he had a good voice....I thought he was ok, but the judges felt he wouldn't be worth listening to on the radio..Randy's advice for him, "Kiss some girls"....




Ok...let's move on....Pia Easley, model and musician...

As far as model goes...guess we just have to take her word for that....but, I must admit...Girl has soul...She was different...unique...reminded me of Tracey Chapman...I can't remember what she sang...but she was good....Simon liked her...said she was "interesting"...not sure how long she will be around...but, she's on her way to Hollywood.



Ok...here is a weird one...Brandon Green...from Mississippi....

Dude is gross...not in appearance...but for the fact that he clips/bites/tears his nail clippings and saves them...in a bag...which he brought with him...What the hell? Who does this stuff? He says he doesn't want to be like other Hollywood stars...like for instance, Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton...Simon makes an underwear crack...but Brandon didn't get it..where has he been hiding? Under the covers with his fingernails...once again...EeeWWWwwwww!
He sings "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates...I like this song, he didn't do too bad...surprisingly, he did really good. He's a little out of tune in a couple places, but he has potential...Simon says he is forgettable, but Randy and Paula say yes and let him through...he's going to Hollywood....wonder if he's bringing his nail clippings?

Now...we have charity case...Kayla Dawn Hatfield (of the infamous Hatfield/McCoys, I wonder?)...lol...

Wow! This girl needs some Xanax...or something...talk about nervous and hyper..or maybe she is taking some "happy pills"...because she seemed to be overly happy...happy to be alive I guess....she almost died in a car wreck when she was 18...disfigured the left side of her face a little...she totally lost the use of one of her eyes...she is a Mom of two...and is just thankful to be there....ok...we get it...she attempts to sing some Janis Joplin, in a yelling sort of way....man, she comes across has manic and crazy...chick needs to get her nerves under control...Simon really seemed to like her...said he liked her energy, he would just like to be her for one day...um, yeah..ok, Simon....anyway, he managed to manipulate Randy into saying yes, Paula said No...Guys, what were you thinking? Oh, well...at least she is happy for a little while..don't get me wrong....girl has been through a lot..deserves a chance at happiness..but, she just can't sing....she was no better than some of the others that they turned away...hence, why I called it a charity case....
Following Kayla...are three more terrible, delusional, awful sounding people...nothing that bears pictures are commentary though...trust me on this...


The last audition of the first day in Dallas...Katie Malloy....


Finally...a true diamond has been unearthed....she is 18 years old, and beautiful...what the guys I am sure would say, "hot"....She does vocal impressions....the judges have her do Brittany Spears...sans crazy...and she does very very well...Damn! I was impressed...the judges liked the impressions, but wanted to hear the true Katie..she sings "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers, in her own unique style...she blows the judges away....it was awesome. Simon told her she was the best so far and I have to agree...Girl is going all the way to the top 12, for sure...

12 people made it through to Hollywood on the first day of the Dallas auditions.
Moving on...you guys still with me? Hang in there...almost over...we're halfway there...

Day 2 started off with our first weirdo of the day...Douglas Davidson....


He starts off by saying he sings so well, his dad truly hates him for it..I think his dad just hates that he spawned such a wierd, nerdy son...dude is big, frumpy, sweaty....he asks to warm up, constantly pacing, drinking water...starts off singing with his back to the judges...he is attempting to sing some Bon Jovi...oh, was he bad...I have never seen such a train wreck in my life....dude just needs to crawl in a hole somewhere and never attempt to sing again...it is more and more obvious why dude's dad hates him..when he is done Simon asks him, "What the bloody hell was that?"...yet, they give him another chance to sing..or he just takes it...whatever...Simon finally gets to the point where he absolutely does not want to hear anymore...he keeps interrupting the judges...keeps singing..finally, security has to escort him out...to take him to a "safe place"..maybe the state mental hospital, who knows...

Following psycho boy, we have Angela Riley...beautiful, married to a total hunk....who honestly thinks she can sing..and poor hubby, does'nt want to disagree that she can't...for fear of no nookie I suppose....

He suggests that she sing "Baby Love"....she is terrible...she has good energy, but she can't carry a tune....although her husband disagrees with the judges, even when Simon says that love is deaf. It is totally terrible karaoke singing at it's finest....the judges let her down gently...


Ok....now we have Kyle Ensley...a politician want to be....


He is kind of silly, dressed in a shirt and tie...says he is going to OK University....he hopes to become the governor of Oklahoma one day....but he would be happy becoming the next American Idol....his chances are looking better and better for becoming governor, me thinks....he kind of gets off to a rough start....he wasn't too bad, but I wouldn't have let him through...Simon, for whatever reason says yes, Paula says yes and Randy, who felt it was a little too glee club, said no...still, he is through to Hollywood....

Next up...train wreck....Tammy Tuzinski....

Girl friend needs to have her voice box removed if she thinks she sounds like Celine Dion....to tarnish poor Celine like that...unthinkable! Obviously something is not working right inside of her head....She attempted to sing Celine Dion's "The Power of Love" or "If You Asked Me To"..she's not certian which is which...not that it matters..it's bad...she knows it's bad...she leaves....to drop off the face of the earth.

Then we have musician, Colton Swan....

He plays the guitar, drums and bass. He has a pretty good voice....kind of has a "Blake" look about him...he sings "Boondocks" by Big Town...Simon calls him a bar type singer, but gives him a yes..as do Paula and Randy...I wasn't too impressed, but we will see how far he goes....he has the rocker look....

Hometown, farm boy...Drew Poppelreiter...leaves the farm for Big D...

Can we say, Awww..shucks?....at least he took out the toothpick to sing....they show footage of him on his farm....now, I live in Indiana..that is all that is done around here....but, enough already...he is not the only farmer out there...geesh....
He sings George Strait's "Check Yes or No"...well, George Strait he ain't....dude needs to stick to farming...I didn't think he had much potential..but, Randy and Paula give him a yes, Simon says no..2 yes's and he is on his way to Hollywood.

Guyliner wearing, rocker want to be...Kyle Reinneck follows farm boy...

He believes he is a rocker..yet, he sings Kelly Clarkson's "Never again?"...what was up with that? His voice is really wierd...kind of close to rocking..but not quite...Simon says his look is kind of demonic....Paula seems a little put off by him as well...he gets three no's.....oh, and he is a counselor for little kids...I would be afraid to let my kids around him....holy hell!

Our final golden ticket goes to Nina Shaw...she is from Kelly Clarkson's hometown of Burleson, TX....


But...Kelly Clarkson she ain't....she is very attractive...meaning, she has the look...and her voice isn't too bad...my personal opinion is that she is not good enough...Simon thinks she is a little too Cabaret, too beauty pagent sounding..and he says no. Randy says yes, basically because he liked how she looked and Paula said yes...girl is going to Hollywood!

Of course, the night can't end without one more wierdo, coming out from underneat a rock....
His name is Renaldo Lapuz....


He is like a wizard/Pimp Daddy....or lets just call him Birdman....or Shreks Puss in the Boots...maybe that is more fitting...lol..the minute he walks into the room, the judges start laughing...so did I....He is just ridiculous....He has Simons name written on his hat...it is clearly apparent that he idolizes Simon....He sings his own composition of "We're Brothers Forever"...he really belts it out there..for what seems like forever...he sings, then starts over again...it really becomes quite comical...Simon just gives up, stating, "Here we go again"....
Randy and Paula actually get up on stage, singing and dancing with him...Randy goes outside and brings Seacrest in.....it becomes totally mad and chaotic...Paula is dancing around like a chicken...what the hell? Dude finally finishes, once again, telling Simon how wonderful he is, what a great person he is...too funny. Simon gives him a hug....he is not going to Hollywood, but he does end the show with a final word for Simon..."You're a great person Simon...You are my glory"..creepy.

Well, that's a wrap folks...24 singers from Dallas are heading to Hollywood...

Who did you think had the better auditions...Philly or Dallas? And out of the golden ticket winners, who are you pulling for thus far?

That is all...
Dixiechick...out!