Devastated.....

Just wanted to put a quick post...I was laid off from my job last Friday afternoon..I am devastated...did not see it coming at all. Went to lunch on Friday, came back and was told later that afternoon. Effective immediately. I have spent the weekend in tears. 2 weeks before Christmas!!! Who the hell does that? I was counting on those checks to buy my kids Christmas...now, well...there will be no Christmas for them. I hope that whomever, whatever piece of shit executive that made this decision can enjoy his Christmas though, along with his big fat bonus that laying off front line employees, the little people, brings him. I hope that he didn't have to tell his children, like I did my seven year old, that there is no Santa.....why did I have to tell him? Well..when he sees you crying over your job, over no money coming in for Christmas, bills, etc....and then he tells you in his innocence that "that's ok Mommy, Santa can bring it"...well, it is fact now that Santa can not...I have never in my 20 years of being a Mother felt like such a failure, like such a worthless piece of shit....not only do I lose my job, but my health insurance as well. This blows...I know I am not the only one that has had to endure this during this recession...I thought things were better. Hell, my company just told us during a meeting a few weeks ago how much more we have profited this year over last year, blah..blah...blah.....It really sucks to be the little man on the totem pole, that is for sure.
I will be called back, I was told...after January 3rd...but, that doesn't help me now. My family is a paycheck to paycheck family. We have a hard time getting ahead. One missed paycheck sets us back. Hubby has been working overtime to try and get us a little ahead to be able to buy Christmas for the boys. Now, that money can't be used as I will have no pay for the next few weeks, until I get my unemployment. Hopefully that will start rather quickly. I don't know....Never been laid off before.
I have to go into the office today..to fill out my "termination-due to seasonal lay off papers"....things are going to be so screwed up with me not being there. No one knows anything about how to do my job, accounts receivable, billing, reports, etc....when I do come back, I fear I am going to have one heck of a mess on my hands. OH, well...not really my problem at this point. They will just have to figure it out...
I doubt I will post again for some time...I am pretty depressed and this Christmas is going to be a sad one...My older two boys are really understanding, and told me to just focus on their little brothers...shit, I don't even have the money to do that.
So, anyway....for those few of you that still read my blog, I wish the best for you and your families this holiday.