I Am Alive....I Have On My Happy Face....Kind of....

Wow, I can't believe it has been over a week since my last post. I have been super busy, at work and at home...and blogging has just not been on my list of "things to do"...I am so far behind on all of my favorite bloggers blogs, it would take me several days just to catch up....hopefully, things will calm down for me soon, and I can get the time to check in with all of you.

I hope everyone had the happiest of holidays....I am just now recovering from mine. I was quite depressed there for a while....it took every bit of energy I had just to get out of bed, go to work and get through my day. I was in kind of a dark place there for awhile...but, I am doing better. I somewhat have my "happy face" back...(see above picture)...I got a lot of wonderful advice from some of my very favorite bloggers and I just personally want to say thanks to all of you...you know who you are. Thanks for not giving up on me or my blog, and coming back daily, or somewhere around in there, to check up on me.

I have tried really hard to put my 18 year old's harsh words and behavior behind me.
14 year old did come up to visit last weekend. We had a great weekend together. Things seem almost back to normal. I have heard from 18 year old once since the blow up....he called to tell me that his car bit the dust....hinting at money from me to help him get a new one. I can't help him get another one...when we had our arguement Christmas night, he made the wise ass comment to me that I needed to manage my money better...he who had no clue what the hell he was saying, or what bills I have, add in the fact that 9 years old dad has not paid support in months and months....9 year old's monthly medicine bill of $135, Max's monthly bill for school of $300, car payments, utilities, insurance, medical, food and gas. The boy had no clue how out of line he was when he said that, add into that fact hubby having his hours cut right at Christmas and that overtime money obsolete, made for a really tight Christmas, which I think is what spawned part of our argument, because he didn't get what he thought he should...anyhoo...back to his car...I think he now understands and maybe he should have "managed his money better"....instead of blowing it on his girlfriend, clothes, etc...he should have been saving half of each one of his paychecks for the past year, then he would be able to go out and buy another car...as it stands, I can't help him, as I have no extra money. He will get money from me and hubby when he graduates this year, and if he doesn't have a car by then, then that should be used to put down towards one. I am sure he will have one though, as it step mother told me Sunday when delivering 14 year old home, that her and the ex were going to try and co-sign to help him get a good used car.
I hope they can....he is almost 19 years old...I was married, making payments on my second car by that time, and had him, when I was 19 years old. He still has lots of growing up to do.

Moving on....let's talk about weather. I am so SICK of Winter...seriously, me and cold weather, we don't do well at all. I freeze to death all of the time. They keep the thermostat turned way down here at work, like 65 degrees...and I sit here, all day in my freaking coat...I need to go buy one of those little space heaters.....I can't stand it....what is it about Winter time, that makes you sleepy...I am sleepy all of the time. After my work day, all I want to do is go home, put on my warm robe and jammies, and do nothing....it has been so hard to get/find motivation to go to the gym 4 times a week, as I stated I was going to try to do in my New Year's resolutions....so far, I haven't kept that up. I went one time last week, and so far only once this week....in all fairness, the roads have been icy lately, and I get scared when having to drive on icy roads after dark. It is about 8 miles to the gym from my work, maybe 20 from the gym home. So, last week, it just didn't work out for me to go....Hopefully, this week will be better for that....I have kept my weight off...holding steady at 114 lbs....it's been almost a year since I started my diet and I am happy that I can say, its no longer a diet...just a lifestyle change....now, I am at a point that I can eat pretty much what I want, in moderation...as long as I put in my time at the gym.....winter sucks, because it's hard for me to find the motivation....Once I get to the gym, that is another story...I feel really good after my 2 hour work out session....it's just the getting there part that is hard.

Another thing I hate about Winter...there seems to be nothing on T.V. anymore....I am so looking forward to Lost starting back a week from this Thursday...yay!
Also, tonight starts the new season of American Idol...I haven't decided if I am going to blog about it or not....my blogging time is usually a few minutes here or there at work, because once I am home in the evening, I don't have time to be on the computer...that would be "me" time, and unfortunatley, I don't get much of that at home.....anyhoo...I will see....Mr. Burns has been in the office a lot lately, every day, all day....makes for a terribly long day for me, hence the no blogging post lately.....he stepped out to meet a client, giving me time to finally make another post...

Oops, speak of the devil...

Well, Mr. Burns is back in the office...gotta run for now....

Dixiechick..out.