Thursday, August 5, 2010
Ok..well, as I have posted over my last several post..I have not been doing very well. Not quite sure what was wrong with me...lot of different symptoms, etc...but, 2 weeks ago, I felt a lump underneath my right arm...of course, being a woman, the first thing you think..is oh, no...breast cancer..then you get on google, and start typing in your symptoms, and voila'..the next thing you know, you are freaking out and scared that death is imminent....I put it off, worried, put it off some more, and finally caved and went to the doctor. I have been scared out of my mind..scaring my husband, worrying, not sleeping...not eating...not working out very much..every disease, every illness, ran through my mind. I was sure I had one if not two different things wrong with me. My biggest fear, breast cancer.
Tuesday, after having not slept a wink the night before, hubby had finally had enough and demanded I make an appointment. The lump under my arm had went down...I knew it was a lymph node, with all my prior symptoms, I even thought I might have a disease as bad as cancer....but, the lump was smaller...still, I scheduled an appointment with my ob/gyn and he felt it...said it was less than 1 cm and it was definitely a lymph node....he ordered blood work, to test me from everything from mono to the worse..hiv....and thank be to God..everything was negative.
The doc thinks that it could have been caused by a mosquito bite a few weeks before, that made me ill and made my lymph nodes swell up. My blood count looked good, all tests were negative and today, the lump is almost gone.
I am thankful that I am ok...I feel better today. Back to normal, pretty much. I can't begin to tell you the cocoon of fear that I have allowed myself to be wrapped up in. All starting from googling symptoms. Don't do that people. Go to the doctor. Don't look stuff up online, because then, you pretty much convince yourself one symptom can be the cause of fatal life threatening diseases, and then all you do is actually make more symptoms manifest themselves and the worry makes you even sicker.
I get it honestly though...I am a Virgo....we are natural worriers.
And...a lot of the other symptoms I had...may be just related to Peri-menopause....I am almost 40 after all. Getting older sucks. I don't feel almost 40, in my head....that is. Anyway, I am grateful I am ok....and I hope to live at least another 40 years.
The relief I feel is indescribable. I am glad I had all those tests done. It feels like I have another chance...know what I mean?
Anyway, maybe now I will feel like blogging more. I am hitting the gym tonight...the Old Dixie is back!